Image Description: Red Holly Berries with green leaves and snow.
Having a disability has been like walking through a winter garden. The days grow darker and shorter. At times, it seems void of life and the frigid crisp conditions make it hard to grow anything. But life was happening. Some of the growth was unseen and was buried deep in the earth waiting to bloom. Other types of growth were visible, and were perfect for this season. I once viewed my disability as a cold garden, vacant of life, and possibilities. To my surprise, I have found that much growth was happening both seen and unseen. Walking through this season has helped to shape me as a person, and changing my mind on growth with a disability.
Growth is possible even in harshest of conditions. Certain types of flowers and trees can withstand the cold and flourish. Holly berries and evergreens grow throughout the winter. Both of these blooms provide a beautiful red and green contrast against the white snow. Having a learning disability is a life long disability. It is not something that I can get rid of or cure. I have experienced the stinging chill of rejection and isolation for having one. I once blazed as crimson as a holly berry with the shame of having one. How I wanted to hide it and blend in. Now I see standing out and being different is not something that I want to hide, rather celebrate my differences.
Not all of the growth that is happening can be seen. A great deal of blooms happen, buried deep in the ground. In the fall many people plant flower bulbs and seeds in the ground. During the winter, the roots begin to settle underneath the terrain waiting for their season to bloom. I remember putting forth the effort in school and life and not seeing the growth. I would try to learn or achieve a goal and would fail. The freezing conditions of not be successful almost froze my heart. The sun came out and the garden began to thaw. I saw success in learning and in life. It was still winter and the flowers were not ready to bloom, but I was starting to see progress. The warmth of accomplishments and success also began to melt my heart.
Tending the winter garden of a disability is not always an easy season. At times growth seems to be stunted, but it does happen. Some of it may be unseen, creating deep roots in the ground, resting until the season passes. Other times there is life, that can happen in the crispest conditions. I have had growth that has occurred in the visible and not visible. Having a learning disability is something that I will always have. The winter garden is only a season. It is a time that has provided strength and helped me to build resilience. The sun comes out and thaws even the harshest cold. The flowers will bloom and the beauty will come forth in its own time. Until then I can seek and find the beauty that the season in the winter garden has in store.
