Image description: A tree with red leaves with a bright blue sky in the background.
Walking has always been a significant part of my life. When I was little, my dad would take me on long walks in the woods. I would chatter as we went through the forest. "Let's try to be quiet and listen for animals," he would say, redirecting me. On those walks, I learned how to listen, pause, and focus. I carried these skills beyond the woods and applied them to my life with a learning disabiltiy.
My brain has a built-in slow processing speed. It is like moving through thick mud when asked a question or in a high-stress situation. My brain has to work harder to process the question before the response. In school, I had to have extra time on tests and assignments that took me longer to complete. The slow response time also made it hard to handle bullies. I would often not think of the comeback until later.
I had to learn to embrace the pause and use it to my advantage. By using extended time on exams, it helped to give my brain the extra time to think. Breaking information into small chunks and studying for a few minutes a day helped to absorb information. Thinking about my words to others helps me not to say things that I may regret. Especially when I am in an intense situation.
I also had to learn who and what to listen for. When others find that I have a disabiltiy, I get unsolicited advice. People have offered education programs, positive thinking, and other remedies to cure me. Most of the support has been well-intended, but has not been helpful. I have tried many of the suggestions offered, and they have not gotten rid of the disabiltiy. I will always have one and have found ways to live with it.
I have also had to learn where I wanted to put my focus and energy. Having a focus helped to set my life in the direction I wanted it to go. I was able to determine what I wanted to study, what type of job I wanted, where I wanted to live, and how I wanted to live my life. It helped me to set goals and aspirations for myself.
Focusing on what I am good at also helps me to have a better outlook. When I am reading, writing, or taking pictures on my walk, I do not feel frustration; instead, I am empowered. When I focus on the things I cannot do, such as math or not being able to drive, it makes me stuck. I try to emphasize the things that bring me happiness and success.
Many years have passed since those walks through the woods. The life lessons I learned have still served me well today. The built-in pause of my reaction time allows me to form my words in a careful manner. Knowing who and what to listen to has also been key. I cannot control what someone says or how they act, but I can choose my response and actions. Developing a focus has also been an important factor in determining the path of my life. I needed to find the direction I wanted my life to go. And I also needed to choose the activities that I engaged in that bring me joy, rather than frustration. By learning to pause, listen, and focus, I can walk with confidence through life with a disability.
