Image Description: A Pair of pink shoes with Orchid Flowers in the background.
Disabilities are like shoes. They come in a wide variety of colors, types, and styles. When you are labeled with one, you are issued a pair of them. For many, these are the shoes that you wear for life, while others for a season. I wear the shoes that will last me a lifetime.
Learning how to walk in these shoes has been a process. I did not start walking with ease. The shoes felt awkward and uncomfortable. I would stumble and fall, trying to walk and run in them. I would watch others who moved with such grace, and I longed for that.
Finding the right fit is so key. Sometimes the shoes of others' expectations have felt too big, causing my shoes to almost slide off my feet. I have people who do not think that I am doing enough and put on unreasonable expectations. Other times, the shoes are too tight and limit what I can do. People do not presume competence and think I can do nothing. The constraints on what I can do pinch my abilities and squelch my dreams. I need to find the fit that gives me a challenge to grow, but not something beyond my capabilities.
People often do not know what it is like to walk in these shoes. Many people think that it is a tragedy to have one and say that they are sorry. There is nothing to be sorry for, I have one. Having a disability is not tragic. I have a happy and fulfilled life with one. I also have others who think that telling me that they do not view me as disabled is a compliment. Usually, these are people who do not like labels and are uncomfortable using the term disability. Oftentimes, they will use flowery language such as differently abled. Using the term disability or disabled is not a dirty word. Many people can not see mine because it is hidden, but it's real. Having one visible or hidden is also not a flaw that needs to be concealed.
Others may also use this as a chance to mock me or others with them. For example, my feet turn in when I walk due to how I was positioned in the womb. I have had others make unkind remarks and mock how I walk. If I say something, others will say that they are joking or that I am too sensitive.
It also bothers me when I hear others make comments about those with disabilites. People will say it's not about you and that you are being dramatic. Other times, they will justify their actions by saying I would pick on them if they were like that. It does not matter if it's not about me; it is still unkind to say those things.
Forever, I will walk through life in these shoes. Finding the right fit on what I can do and what is not possible is a never-ending process. My feet show the scars and calluses along the way. Other people will not be able to understand what it is like to walk in these shoes, and will comment on them. I cannot control what others say, think, feel, or act. I can only control my actions and responses. The journey may not always be easy, and I may stumble and come crashing to the ground. I choose to pick myself up and to continue moving forward in my disability shoes.
Do you have experience walking in the shoes of a disability? If so, leave a comment below.
