Image Description: White Chalk Letters on a Sidewalk
One of the biggest challenges of having a math learning disability is that it makes everything dealing with numbers a challenge. My dyscalculia causes my brain to turn sideways every time I encounter math. Many people think that having it means seeing numbers backwards, which I do not. Having one has caused my brain to shift sideways performing everyday tasks such as reading a clock, using a ruler, confusing my right from my left, and helping students with math. It has impacted me in the home, community, school, and workplace.
My brain shifts sideways when I look at the face of an analog clock. I can see the numbers and both the big and little hands. I can tell time to the hour, but I cannot tell time beyond that. My brain does not comprehend what time it is. Despite numerous instructions at home and tutoring, I still cannot tell time. What works for me is using my Fitbit or digital displays to tell me what time it is
Other people cannot understand why I cannot perform this task. I have been given many beautiful clocks and watches that are decorations. When I have asked what time, it has been in the past, people have said, There’s a clock over there. I could see the clock, but could not tell what time it was. I have also heard other people say that those who cannot do this are lazy, and you will not always have a digital display near you. Most people have cellphones or can choose to use a digital display. I am not against educating other people on how to read a clock, but it doesn’t work; look for other options.
My brain also shifted sideways in the language of math. When others say a quarter to the hour
or half past, I am clueless about what they mean. I also get confused when
working with fractions and measuring. If the bigger number is on top, I believe
When I have asked what time, it has been in the past, people have said There’sa a clock over there. I could see the clock, but could not tell what time it was. I have also heard other people say that those who cannot do this are lazy, and you will not always have a digital display near you. Most people have cellphones or can choose to use a digital display. I am not against educating other people on how to read a clock, but it doesn’t work; look for other options.
My brain also shifts to the side to tell my right from my left. I confuse my right with my left. If I am trying on shoes, I cannot tell which shoe goes on the right or the left foot until I put them on if they are comfortable. I got them on my right feet. People used to ask, “can’t you tell they are on the wrong foot? But when I looked at my feet, they did not look strange or awkward. Putting shoes on the wrong foot became an issue when I worked in childcare centers. When the children would take their shoes off, I had difficulty putting them on the right foot. My employers could not understand. Many employers thought that I was doing it on purpose or was being careless. Employers told me I needed to work on this skill. No amount of effort was going to help this.
My brain also goes sideways if I must help others learn math. I work in a school as a teacher’s aide. All the students and staff know I am limited in helping with math. I can read the numbers and the questions, but cannot help them beyond that. I am unable to teach the steps or offer clarity on how to solve the problem. I experienced this even when working with elementary school students. I will never forget the sweet little first-gradeThe girl who could not understand why I could not help her with her math. When I told her I was not good with numbers, she smiled and told me, “There’s a grown-up school for that. Not being able to help my students often makes me feel helpless and useless. How I wish I could help them, but my brain will not let me do that. It can also make me sad that many of them are beyond what my level of math will ever be. I have to remember that while I cannot teach them math, there are many other life lessons I can teach.
Having a math disability has caused my brain to shift in so many ways. I am unable to read a
A clock or a ruler, like other people. I also confuse my right from my left, and with my basic understanding of math, I can be of little assistance in teaching others. I have had to find other ways to adapt and learn. The twists and turns that happen in my brain with math have not always been a bad thing, though. My brain could not go on the original course and was drawn to other things that I am better at, such as reading, writing, and photography. I may not be able to solve a math problem, but I can engage in these activities and find joy and achievement. I have made peace with the direction my mind shifts when it encounters math.
